Melanoma
by Rainbowkiwii
Summary: It's amazing how one little brown dot can change a person's life [MakoHaru, because I like the ship too much]
1. Discovery

One little brown dot.

That was the first thing Haru noticed as he slipped into the bath that morning. He didn't often give himself body checks; they didn't matter to him. But today just happened to be a day that the raven haired boy _did_ check. However, he hadn't thought about it too much, since it seemed natural enough. But when he got right down to it, it did slightly bother him. The reason why it bothered him was for one reason only: he had no idea what this was. This could be another little one of those brown moles, which was rare for him to get anyway.

Or it could be Melanoma.

But he'd never tell that to his friends. Just the thought of doing that made him cringe. He decided his top priority was to figure out a way to cover it up. After all, it was in between his chest and shoulder, for the whole swim team to see. Actually, to be perfectly honest, he didn't really care about Nagisa or Rei seeing his imperfection. He knew that he could put their worries at ease with his stoic expression and a confident answer of "I'm fine, don't worry."

No, the person who he was worried about most was Tachibana Makoto.

Makoto _always_ seemed to know if there was something wrong with Haru. He was like Haru's translator, which Haru was okay with on normal occassions. However, this time there'd be no way Makoto wouldn't know about something being up with his friend. And who knows what kind of questions he'd ask. He sighed as he sunk lower in the water.

_I think I may be getting worked up over nothing. I'm pretty sure it's not cancerous anyway._ Haru thought as he stretched out. Yeah, that was it. As long as he was in water, he'd be fine. He'd let his thoughts splash around, like the ocean. For awhile, he thought that this way of thinking was perfectly fine. That was until a new thought bubbled up into his brain.

_Makoto's coming over soon,_ he thought as he sunk even lower, nearly submerging his nose. _I guess I have to get out on my own for now until I can figure this out._

When Tachibana Makoto came over to Haru's house that morning, he certainly didn't expect Haru to already out of the tub and dressed. Said man was now grilling mackerel, as he did every day. Makoto didn't understand the sudden change. But he smiled his warm smile nonetheless.

"Good morning, Haru-chan. I see you got out of the water on your own today." Haru only looked away from his dish for a few seconds, before turning back and responding.

"Drop the -chan." Makoto only laughed at the usual Haru-like response. However, what he didn't know was that in that moment, Haru had wanted to say a million more things than just "drop the -chan." But since Makoto wasn't looking directly into his eyes, he couldn't tell. He couldn't tell that for the first time in a long time, Haru was feeling truly unnerved. Almost way more unnerved than he had about Rin and where their friendship stood. Yes, his unease was caused by that little brown dot he saw that morning. He had wanted to tell Makoto about it so badly. But he couldn't possibly make his best friend worry.

_It's fine. I'll just get it checked out in a week. Nobody will have anything to worry about._

"Haru-chan! Mako-chan!" Nagisa called out to the two boys at school. Makoto greeted them with a soft "good morning" while Haru simply restated the same thing he'd told to Makoto that morning.

"Haru-chan, why don't you like being called Haru-chan?" Nagisa had inquired.

"Because I'm not a little kid."

"So? Haru-chan, that's a bad reason!"

"I think it's pretty good." Nagisa only laughed at this while Rei criticized his use of 'Haru-chan.' Makoto only politely reminded them that it was almost time to get to class. Looking around, Haru realized how lucky he was to have good friends surrounding him at all times, despite the fact that they could be annoying. He smiled a small smile in spite of himself. He sure was going to miss these times with his friends...

Hold up a second.

Haru froze as he realized what terrible thought had just snaked his way into his brain. No. There was no way he'd miss these times. Because he'd still be alive to create more memories. He was sure of it.

But you can only be in denial for so long before you start to think irrational thoughts.

* * *

By the way, before I get too far into this, I seriously recommend you listen to Shiokaze no friendship while reading this fic (or any MakoHaru fic). It's one of Makoto's character songs and it's sooo adorable. You'll get what I mean when you look at the lyrics ;) Anyway, just a suggestion to everyone!


	2. Growth

A week passed, and it seemed like the dot had actually grown in size since Haru had first noticed it. At this point, he was beyond unnerved. He was to the point of having bad anxiety over it, often waking up at random times of the night to make sure it hadn't gotten bigger. But Haru wasn't the type of person to suffer out loud, so of course he wouldn't tell a single soul about his predicament. Still, the worst part of this was that during practice, he figured _everyone_ would notice the growth.

"Haru-chan! Hurry up, you gotta get your swim cap and goggles before Gou yells at you!" Nagisa said as Haru entered the locker room with the others. He looked at Nagisa for a moment, remembering how everyone reacted to him when they noticed the unusual dot on his shoulder for the first time.

_"Haru-chan, what's that?!" asked Nagisa as he pointed and poked at Haru's brown dot on his skin. Haru had only sighed, trying to keep his composure._

_"Drop the -chan. And it's just a new freckle that I got from the sun." he stated bluntly. The only person who noticed his slight unease was, yes, Makoto. But Makoto didn't dare ask what was going on. He seriously doubted that it anything with the dot though. Haru could be thinking about millions of different things. And truth be told, Makoto wanted to deny this dot's existence as much as Haru did_.

So he had kept quiet, and smiled.

_Haru has this under control. He's strong enough to handle this._

A few hours later, when Haru and Makoto were walking home on their usual route, Haru had decided to get the dot checked out for his and everyone else's sake. It was going to be hard, he knew, but he couldn't put it off anymore.

"Makoto."

"Hm?"

"I'm..." It was hard for Haru to say it, since he was afraid his voice would come out shaky. "I'm going to get the dot checked out this afternoon." He then looked at Makoto questioningly, and Makoto understood what it meant. Haru had wanted him to give him his opinion.

"Ah yes, that sounds like a good idea. It's grown a little bit since I last saw it, so maybe it'd be good to check it out." As soon as Makoto said this last sentence, he blushed a little and covered his mouth in embarrassment. He totally did not mean to sound like he was checking Haru out (although embarrassingly enough, he did find himself staring quite often). Haru however, just shrugged it off. He was just happy that Makoto didn't pester him about it. With that taken care of, Haru began to walk towards town.

"See you tomorrow then, Haru!" Makoto called out. The blue eyed boy just glanced back briefly, giving him a nod.

Haru found waiting at the doctor's office to be somewhat awkward. He didn't bring anything to entertain himself with, and he couldn't exactly strike up a conversation with anyone there. He had already made himself and the other nurses uncomfortable by giving them short, quiet answers to important questions, making him wonder about how normal people handled social situations.

_Ugh, Makoto is way better at this than me. Nagisa probably is too. Hell, even Rin is more social than I am_. Haru found himself thinking as he sat there in the uncomfortable blue chair. Truth be told, he wanted someone to be there with him, because he'd be lying if he said he wasn't anxious. This probably explained why he was thinking about his friends instead of swimming. Well, two friends and one not-so-much friend. His stomach twisted at the thought of Rin. What exactly would he say if Haru happened to be diagnosed with something dangerous/terminal? Haru shook his head. Nevermind about him. Right now, he was to be focused on waiting for his name to be called.

"Miss Haruka Nanase?" one of the nurses called out. Haru only sighed, and waited for the lady to re-look at the paper. He wasn't surprised when he heard a surprised yelp as he began to walk over to her. She quickly looked down at her paper and gasped in horror.

"Oh my, I'm really sorry! I didn't know you were a boy, but I guess I should've, and-" Haru only sighed again. It was obvious she was new, and Haru didn't really mind anyway.

"It's fine. It happens a lot." For some reason, a blush came to the lady's cheeks as he spoke to her. Although Haru could probably venture a guess as to why this happened. He didn't exactly have an ego the size of California, but he couldn't deny that he was kind of attractive.

_Too bad for you. I already have someone I like..._ Haru thought as he followed the nurse into one of the offices.

"I'll go tell the doctor you're ready to be examined." the nurse bowed, and walked out. Haru sighed. The time for being examined was about to begin.

Meanwhile, as Haru sat nervously in his blue chair at the hospital, Makoto was at home with Ren and Ran. He was sharing a blue ice pop with the two. One he'd usually shared with Haru. The terrible thoughts had weighed on his mind heavily, and he decided to do something to help ease his thinking. Makoto had already wore himself out from running, playing with the twins, and swimming. So something that involved sitting down was the most appealing thing at this point. Unfortunately for Makoto however, there wasn't a lot to do when you sat. You could play video games (which he had already), you could draw (Makoto was a terrible artist), you could read (he had read almost every book in his mini library at least three times), or you could write.

_Hmm, writing might not actually be so bad_. Makoto thought as he grabbed out a piece of lined paper. It took him awhile to decide what to write, but he smiled when he finally made up his mind.


	3. Comfort

When the doctor had walked in, the first thing that Haru noticed was that he was freakishly tall. Like, six foot tall. The second thing he noticed was his stormy blue eyes. They reminded him an awful lot of the day of the storm, when Makoto's inspiration had died and granted him his fear of the ocean. He slightly shivered at the thought. He wondered how his friend was doing now, until a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"...ou cold?"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" the man only smiled.

"It's fine. I was just asking if you were cold, since you shivered."

_Shit, he saw_. "No, I'm fine. Thank you, Mr..."

"Just call me Nowaki." the doctor said, with another one of his warm smiles. Haru nodded. For some reason, he felt safe when Nowaki talked to him. He felt like nothing could possibly go wrong.

_His smile reminds me a lot of Makoto's. I'm not sure why, but the more I spend time with this doctor, the more time I want to spend with Makoto..._

"Well, let's get started, shall we?" Doctor Nowaki had said a few seconds after preparing whatever he was going to possibly need. Haru nodded, his thoughts had been interrupted, which he wasn't sure was a good or a bad thing considering that they could've taken a bad or a good turn.

"Now, you said the dot was between your shoulder and your chest, right? If that's the case, please remove your shirt." Nowaki said kindly. Haru nodded again and slowly took off his shirt to reveal his problem area. Haru saw the doctor's facial expression go from kind to horrified in about three seconds after he had removed his shirt. Haru suppressed the urge to gulp.

"Haru-san, how long have you had this for?" he asked after he recovered from the initial shock.

"Just a week." he answered. Nowaki only looked solemn.

"We need to get this checked out right away."

Haru had never been more nervous in his life as he waited in that room for his results of what that bigger dot could possibly be. He finally couldn't keep still anymore, and decided that it was time to talk to a friend. More specifically, Makoto.

Meanwhile, said brunette was siting at home with the twins entangled on his legs. He couldn't get his mind off Haru, so he decided the twins were the perfect distraction.

"Hey, nii-chan. What's wrong with you? You seem sad." Ran had asked Makoto. Her twin nodded his head in agreement. Makoto momentarily tensed, not believing how obvious he was to the two. But he smiled nonetheless.

"Don't worry about me. I was just thinking about a friend." he stated with a kind smile.

"So you were thinking about Haru nii-chan then?" Ran had asked. This caught Makoto by surprise, and he could feel his cheeks heat up.

"Well, yes, I was..." he stuttered.

"Is Haru nii-chan okay? What happened?" Ren had asked. Makoto sighed.

"I'm not sure to be perfectly honest. All I know is that Haru is in the hospital now," Makoto told them. The twins got a concerned look on their faces until Makoto spoke again. "But Haru is strong, he'll pull through." The twins smiled, satisfied with this answer.

But even Makoto was unsure of his own answer.

His thoughts were soon interrupted by a vibrating in his pocket, and his heart raced in anticipation when he discovered that the caller was Haru. He picked up immediately.

"Haru? What's up?" he asked.

"I just wanted to call and talk." This definitely caught Makoto off guard. Haru had very, very rarely used his cellphone. And the only time he really did was because he needed to talk to someone.

He needed to talk... because something was wrong.

Makoto swallowed. "H-haru, what's wrong?" he shakily asked.

"I have no idea. But I'm sure it's not good. That's why I called. I'm... kind of nervous." Makoto could almost feel the hidden fear in Haru's voice. It sent shivers down his spine. He had rarely seen Haru act like this. He had to fix it.

"Haru, don't worry, okay? If it is... what we think it is, we'll deal with it one step at a time. So please, just... stay calm." Makoto had no idea if what he said would be any help to the raven haired boy, but he tried his best to be reassuring. The only thing he was really focused on now the prospect of losing his best friend, and even possibly more than just a friend.

_Wait, wait, wait. More than just friends? Surely Haru doesn't think that way_. Makoto could feel himself blush in embarrassment. _Well, I guess I'll deal with... my feelings, later. Right now-_ Makoto clapped his hands together and put his head down, almost in bowing position. The twins had no idea what was going on, but they could tell that Makoto was desperate, so they followed his example.

_Haruka, please, by whatever means necessary, please be okay._

Meanwhile, Haru had just hung up the phone, his heart pounding. He was kind of glad he got to talk to his green eyed friend before going in for a scan. It helped him calm down immensely.

_I wonder if Makoto knows how much I need him in my life..._

"Alright Haru-san, it's time to test." Nowaki called softly, hoping to not scare the boy anymore than he already was. Haru gulped.

This was it.


	4. Diagnosis

Omfg some of you actually caught my reference last chapter. You have no idea how happy you all make me xD Also, I'd love to get more reviews since so many of you are following, but you're content with not reviewing that's fine too c: As long as you're all happy, that's all that matters. Ok time to shut up.

* * *

_"Haru-san, I'm sorry. You have stage 4 Melanoma. There is nothing we can do to cure it anymore."_

_It took while for Haru to register this, but when he did, his mind had gone into over-drive. His hands trembled and he felt nauseated. He felt his knees shaking, and his breath was faster than normal. His heart raced as he asked Nowaki the next question._

_"How long do I have?" _

_Nowaki shook his head sadly. "Only about a month. I'm so sorry, Haru-san." Haru then watched as Nowaki exited the room. As soon as the door shut, Haru dropped to his knees, shivering and shaking like a leaf. _

_"N-no. This can't be it. This can't be h-happening. What am I going to do? What if-"_

"Haru-san!"

Haru jumped awake at the sudden calling of his name. He'd been waiting there for god knows how long, and the combination of the quiet waiting room music and the balmy air had made him lethargic enough to doze off.

"Y-yes?" Haru answered.

"Haru-san, your results are in." Nowaki said in a gentle voice, trying even harder than before not to scare him more than he already was. Haru quietly followed Doctor Nowaki into the room, his heart pounding against his chest. The dark haired man brought him to a chart filled with all kinds of statistics and other things Haru didn't understand. Nowaki chuckled at Haru's confusion.

"It's okay if you don't understand Haru-san. What's important is that you know what's going on." Nowaki's face suddenly turned grim for a second, which made Haru dread the results even more. The tall man sighed, then started on his explaination.

"The bad news is that it is cancer. There's no way I can hide that." he said bluntly. He saw Haru's look of pure fear, then decided now was the time to improve his mood before he freaked out.

"However, there is good news. You're only at stage two. This means with a lot of hard work we can beat this. So Haru-san, would you be willing to go through with the treatments? I can explain anything you need to know." Nowaki asked. He waited patiently for Haru to respond. After all, this was a ton of information that was just dumped on him.

"Take your time." Nowaki said as he walked out of the room to leave Haru with his thoughts.

Haru, on one hand, was absolutely devastated that he had been diagnosed with the terrible disease. It was like his nightmare had come true all over again. Yet at the same time, Haru was overjoyed that he still had a fighting chance. Haru couldn't even tell whether he wanted to laugh or cry. But in regards to Nowaki's question, he already knew what he wanted. He knew that he wanted to go through with the treatment. However, even though he knew what he had wanted, he still was uneasy about the consequences. Losing hair and not being able to go to school were two things Haru wouldn't mind. But the idea of being sick and tired all of the time almost made him depressed.

_I have to go through with the treatment, for everyone. Even if I lose the ability to swim... I'll be alright_. Haru tried his hardest not to let that thought get to him too much. It was painful enough just having cancer.

"Haru-san, have you made up your mind?" Nowaki had asked as he walked back into the room where Haru had sat for a long time thinking. Haru nodded.

"I'd like to go through with treatment." Upon hearing this, Nowaki smiled a gentle smile. However, this smile only lasted a second, for Nowaki had one more thing to ask of him.

"Haru-san, how are you going to tell your family and friends?" This had almost caught Haru off guard. He'd been so nervous before that it completely slipped his mind that he'd actually have to _tell_ everyone. He sighed.

"I'll figure out a way. Thank you, Nowaki-san. For everything." Haru said. Nowaki came over and hugged Haru really tight. Normally Haru would be uncomfortable with this contact, but he found that he actually really needed to comfort right now.

"You're welcome, Haru-san."

Back at the Tachibana residence, Makoto was the epitome of anxiety. He paced in his room, his thoughts racing at a million miles an hour.

_What's taking Haru so long?_

_When is Haru going to call?_

_How long did he say he was going to be there?_

_Is he going to die?_

The last thought stopped him dead in his tracks. No. There was no way Haru would die. Makoto got nervous just thinking about it.

_If Haru dies, there'd be no point in swimming. Or anything else really._

Then, as if on cue, Makoto's cellphone rang right beside him, pulling him out of his thoughts. He answered the call immediately.

"Haru! Are you okay?!" Makoto asked, embarrassed that his voice almost cracked from excitement and nervousness.

"Makoto. There's something I have to tell you." There was something off about Haru's voice. He sounded content, but at the same time, like he was about to reveal something big. Makoto swallowed.

He did not like where this was going at all.


	5. Telling

"Makoto, I have skin cancer."

The news hit Makoto like a bomb. The words replayed over and over in his mind, and he found himself trembling.

"Haru, y-you can't be s-serious." Makoto sniffed, and found that tears had fogged his vision.

"Makoto, it's fine."

_No, it's not fine. You're dying, and I love you too much to see you hurt_. Yes, over the course of a few hours, Makoto had finally come to terms with his emotions, and love was among the many thoughts that plagued him. He didn't care if Haru didn't love him back, he just wanted him to be alive and with him.

"It's only stage two right now, which means if I fight hard, I'll be able to beat it. You and everyone will help me fight, right?" Haru's voice almost sounded hopeful as he said this, and Makoto relaxed just a tiny bit.

"Yes Haru. We'll all help you. Just tell us what you want, and we'll help you." From the way Makoto was talking, it almost sounded like he was trying to re-assure himself more than Haru. But Haru still felt better anyway.

"Thank you, Makoto. Thanks for always being there for me." Makoto could feel his heart pound at this.

"You're welcome." And with that, Haru had hung up, leaving Makoto in his pile of emotions.

Haru sighed. The next person he had to tell was Nagisa.

"Haru-chan! What's up?" Nagisa asked in his usual cheerful tone. "You never call, so it must be super important!"

"Nagisa, I have skin cancer."

Nagisa froze. What had Haru just said, exactly?

"E-excuse me?"

"I have cancer, Nagisa." The word replayed in the young boy's mind over and over. Nagisa didn't know much about the medical world, but he did know that generally when someone was diagnosed with cancer, it meant an early death.

He didn't want Haru to die.

The tears came faster than he expected. "H-haru-chan," he sniffed, trying to wipe them away. "If this is a joke, it's not very funny." He could hear Haru sigh over the phone, which only made him more sad.

"Oh my god, you're serious?" At this point, Haru feared that if he didn't interrupt, Nagisa would go into hysterics.

"Nagisa, clam dow-"

"Calm down?! How can I do that when Haru-chan is dying?!" Nagisa suddenly yelled, bursting into tears.

"Nagisa, I'm not dying." This stopped the blonde for a moment.

"But you just told me-"

"No. The cancer hasn't spread to any important areas yet. If I fight hard enough, I can make it. Will you help me?" Haru was aware of how corny his last sentence came out, but Nagisa didn't seem to notice.

"I will help you, Haru-chan! I'll do anything so you can get better!" he yelled, determined. He then added in a quieter voice, "Do the others know?"

"Only Makoto. I'm going to tell Rei next."

Silence. Then,

"What about Rin-chan?" Nagisa had asked even more quietly. He knew he was crossing a thin line by asking this.

"Yes. I will tell him."

"Okay. Good luck, Haru-chan." Nagisa said, hanging up the phone. Haru sighed. Nagisa's question about Rin had kind of bothered him for some reason. Not because it was about him, but just the tone he used. It implied that Rin was some sort of bad omen, but in truth, he wasn't. He and Haru just had a very strained friendship. The fact that Haru thought that he was the reason for their friendship issues was depressing. Surely Rin would be glad that he was dying. Surely-

Haru froze and shook his head. The past was the past, he reasoned. He needed to get his mind off of it. And what better way to do that than to call your friend and tell him devastating news.

"What?! Haruka-senpai, you can't be serious!" Rei's reaction wasn't exactly like Nagisa's, which Haru was grateful for, but it still was panicked and it made Haru's stomach drop just knowing that he'd have to tell Rin and his parents the same thing. Haru shuddered at the thought of telling his parents. Something that Haru's grandma told him before she died was that a parent should never have to bury their children. It was depressing to think about, so Haru just focused on calming Rei down. He told the blue haired swimmer the same thing he had told Makoto and Nagisa, and asked him if he'd fight with him.

"Of course, Haruka-senpai. I'll study up on whatever methods are needed to ensure you never feel like you're sick. You can count on me." And with that, Rei hung up the phone. Haru smiled in spite of himself. Typical Rei. He then sighed for what seemed like the billionth time that night as he dialed the next number, which happened to be Rin's.

"Haru? What're you calling for?" was the first thing the shark boy asked.

"Rin, I have skin cancer." Haru felt like a broken record every time he had to tell someone about what happened, and having to hear their reaction. There was a brief silence.

"Haru..." Rin's voice sounded extremely strained, and Haru could feel a stab of guilt. Rin's voice sounded exactly like it had when Haru had beaten him all those years ago. Even though the two had more or less made up since then, Haru hadn't forgotten what had happened. He could never forget no matter what.

"Rin, it's fine-"

"What the hell are you talking about? How can anyone with cancer say that it's "fine" when it's clearly not?!" Rin had shouted over the phone. Haru almost groaned in frustration. He knew that this was going to be hard.

"Rin, it's not as bad as you think. I can fight it off. But I'm going to need some support if I'm going to make it. Can I rely on you for that?" A brief silence over took the two. Finally, with a shaky breath, Rin answered.

"Yes." With that answer, Rin hung up the phone. He figured that he'd start rambling if he didn't hang up, and that was fine with Haru. Besides, his parents needed to know too, and telling all the other boys was just practice for the two most important people in his life.

The phone rang in the Nanase residence. Mrs. Nanase wondered who could be calling during dinner, since she figured everyone was busy right now.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom." Haru's mom froze. Usually, they had to call Haru in order to get him to talk, but this was different. Mrs. Nanase could explain it, but she had a feeling something was amiss.

"Hello, Haru. It's great to hear from you, dear." The woman caught sight of her husband and beckoned him to come closer so he could hear.

"Yeah. But listen, there's something I have to tell you." he could almost feel his mom tense up over the phone.

"Yes?"

"I... I have skin cancer." There was a silence shared between the two for about three seconds, before Haru heard the phone hit the ground, and the line go dead. He shakily shut his own cellphone and shoved it away in his pocket.

He would wait for his parent's to regain their composure and call him back. But for right now, he didn't feel like ruining anymore lives.


	6. Beginning

After he was released from the hospital, Haru was faced with the task of calming down his hysterical mother, reassuring her that, no, he didn't have to go home.

_If I went home I'd lose all the friends I have here_. Haru thought as he slipped into the bathtub. It was the morning after his visit, and he was taking his daily soak. He let his thoughts run wild as he closed his eyes.

_Makoto is going to be here soon. I hope he still looks at me the same way_. Truth be told, Haru wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of his best friend looking at him as if he was a fragile present. He wanted to spend time with him, and just forget about this stupid disease. The main reason he thought of this however, was because he already knew that Nagisa would freak out as soon as he got to school, and Rei would be uncomfortable the whole time. This was why he had to rely on someone he knew his whole life.

But in a way, having freaked out friends wasn't so bad, he supposed. As Haru lay soaking, he really thought hard about how his friends reacted to the situation. They freaked out... because they cared. He smiled a small smile. Knowing that people would be there for him no matter what never failed to make Haru happy.

"Good morning Haru!" And speaking of people who'd be there no matter what, Tachibana Makoto was here, right on cue. Haru stared at Makoto as he pulled him out of the tub. The green eyed man's face was gentle and kind as always. He liked that about that Makoto. Then again, there was a lot to like about Makoto. Haru hadn't realized it at first, but over the past few days, even before he was diagnosed, he had developed a small crush on his long time friend. He had wanted Makoto to always be there for him, just like when they were kids, and even now. Even though he wasn't sure if Makoto felt the same way, he'd always like to be by Makoto's side no matter what. Haru thought about all of this as he was lifted from the bathtub and handed a towel.

"Let me guess, you're having mackerel for breakfast again?" the taller asked with a light chuckle. Haru nodded.

"Yes. The doctor recommended that I eat lots of fish since it helps fight off the cancer." The statement came out so casual coming from Haru, but the look on Makoto's face made Haru wish he would've never said any of that.

"Y-yeah. Well, we better be going then. Don't want to be late, right?" Makoto then gave out a nervous laugh and slowly walked to the kitchen, not looking at Haru once. Haru only sighed and followed him.

_This is exactly what I __**didn't**__ want_.

On the way to school, Haru and Makoto talked like normal, things seemingly being less awkward now. However, they both knew that the weird feeling would return as soon as they got to school, with everyone knowing about the cancer and all.

A few minutes later, they reached the school gates only to be greeted by a panicked Nagisa and a slightly frantic Rei. Gou joined them a minute later, concern also apparent on her face.

"Haru, are you okay?" she asked with a timid voice. Haru only nodded, already expecting Makoto to take over with the explanation.

"Haru is okay. He's just a little tired. But he'll be fine." Makoto said. His voice was so convincing that Haru almost believed that he really wasn't dying, and that everything would turn out to be alright.

"Haru-chan, will you still be able to practice?" Nagisa had asked. Haru almost winced at the question, but answered anyway.

"Yes. I'll still be able to swim for a long time." Everyone's face lit up at the sound of the raven haired male's response. But despite everyone else's mood improvement, Haru just couldn't bring himself to smile too.

_I don't actually know if I'll have a long time. And who actually knows how long that is anyway?_

About two weeks later, Haru is told that a check up is required. This will determine if it is the appropriate time to start any kind of potentially dangerous therapy. This time, Haru asks Makoto to go with him, since he doesn't think he'll feel comfortable with the doctors this time around. Nowaki, his favorite doctor, didn't actually specialize in cancer. He just happened to know that Haru's growing dot wasn't normal, and had handed the tests off to other people to evaluate. So now that he knew he wouldn't be seeing Nowaki vey often, he wanted Makoto to be by his side whenever he could be.

As soon as the pair stepped into the lobby, the nurse who had first mistaken Haru as a girl recognized him. She walked over and gave a small bow.

"Hello _Mr._ Nanase." she said, giggling. Makoto gave out a soft chuckle as well, as he figured out what had gone on.

"Ah, I see you were mistaken for a girl again." Haru only sighed, and Makoto took that as a 'yes, and it's annoying' type of response.

"Well since I already know what you're here for, I can direct you to your doctor and send you on your way. Your friend and I can stay here for awhile and chat." she said as she turned to Makoto, patted his shoulder, and gave her best smile. Seeing these affectionate gestures made Haru suddenly wanted to grab Makoto and drag him far, far away from the flirty nurse. Makoto was oblivious to her flirting, which made Haru's sudden urge even worse. Instead, he nodded and spoke.

"Actually, if it's okay, I'd like him to come with me." the nurse's eyes showed a mixture of surprise and disappointment when he said this, but she smiled nontheless.

"Alright. You two can follow me then." The nurse lead them to a doctor, who proceeded to lead them down many hallways and finally, to the cancer ward. They then stepped in a room, where they finally stopped walking.

"The doctor will be with you shortly." he bowed curtly and then left, leaving the two alone. Makoto turned to Haru.

"Thanks for saving me back there." Haru was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"From the weird nurse. When she touched me and smiled I was afraid I'd be stuck talking to her for hours." Makoto laughed. Oh, so Makoto _had_ noticed her flirting. He was just to nice to say anything. Well that was typical sweetheart Makoto, Haru supposed.

_But still, I didn't like the way she was touching him, like she wanted to take him away from me._ It wasn't like Haru to get jealous like this, but when it came to the person he loved, he didn't exactly act like he normally would.


	7. Treatment

It took awhile for the doctors to get set up with the tests, but by the time they were done, it was determined that Haru was to start on his chemotherapy treatments.

"It'll be fine, Haru. The worst that'll happen is you throwing up." Makoto had told him after the doctor had left the room. Technically speaking, Haru could think of at least ten worse things that chemotherapy could do to him besides make him vomit, but he appreciated Makoto's reassuring words.

"Makoto... Thank you for being with me this whole time. I really do appreciate it." The words made Makoto's heart beat out of his chest. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't felt his heart beat like this in about a week. He had been trying to suppress his feelings for Haru for so long, but it was getting harder and harder with each passing day. However, he now knew more than ever that he would have to be calm and collected around his crush, for this was his time of suffering.

_I'll always be there for you, Haru_.

The first couple times Haru had done his rounds of chemotherapy, he did end up throwing up. He also missed school because of that too. And like Makoto said, it was the worst thing that happened. But his brunette haired friend was always there by his side, always by the toilet in case Haru was too weak to move afterward. Always rubbing his back after a particularly bad session of vomiting. Honestly, Haru would've seriously considered canceling treatment if Makoto hadn't been by his side the whole week. But even though he was grateful for his friend's constant support, there was still something weighing heavily on his mind.

"Makoto." Haru said one day while they were watching TV. It was a very sunny day outside, and this was what triggered the thoughts Haru had been having.

"What is it, Haru?"

"Don't you miss swimming?" Surely Makoto must be _itching_ to get out of the stuffy hospital and into the cold pool, something Haru wished he could do. Makoto only gave him a sad smile.

"Haru, remember when we were on that island and I told you it would be pointless to swim without you? I really did mean what I said." Haru could feel his heart speed up at this. Terrible memories rushed back in like a flash flood, and he remembered almost losing Makoto. Haru then suddenly found himself wrapping his taller companion in a giant hug, burying his face in his chest. Makoto didn't understand at first, but it didn't take him long to figure it out.

"Ah, I'm sorry Haru. I'm bringing up a sore subject." It never failed to amaze Haru that Makoto always seemed to know what he was thinking. He wondered if Makoto could tell if he knew how he felt about him.

_Maybe I should test that out... Who knows how long I have left?_

"Makoto." It came out soft, and Makoto almost didn't hear it.

"What is it, Haru?" But he never did get a vocal answer from the black haired male.

Instead, he felt Haru's soft lips on his own.

Makoto swore his heart came close to beating out of his chest at that moment. It was only a small, five second peck on the lips, but it had him more frozen than the blue Popsicles he and Haru shared. On one hand, he was ecstatic that Haru had harbored feelings for him. But on the other, he was confused as to what initiated the kiss, followed by a hint of nervousness. And then, there was that unmistakable feeling of dread, the one of falling in love with a person that could potentially die. However, he didn't even have time to respond as the door was suddenly swung open. They hadn't even heard Nagisa or Rei coming close to the room beforehand, so it gave both boys a shock when the two suddenly burst into the room.

"Hi Haru-chan!" Nagisa shouted. Rei winced at the noise but still gave a small bow to Haru.

"Haruka-senpai, I trust you're doing well?"

"Yes. It's taking longer than expected, but I'm doing fine." Makoto was almost surprised that Haru didn't rely on him for the explanation this time around.

_Maybe it was because of the sudden kiss_.

Makoto shook his head. No way. Something that ridiculous like that wouldn't make Haru act out of character...

Would it?

The four boys talked the evening away, with Rei trying all sorts of things he studied up on to make Haru feel better. Nagisa had just asked a ton of questions and tried to play truth or dare with the four, which could've ended in disaster if the nurses hadn't stopped them. Once it was time to go, they all said their good nights and left to leave Haru to sleep. Makoto was just grabbing his jacket when another knock at the door was heard. The boys exchanged confused door then slowly opened to reveal a certain red haired person Haru wasn't sure if he was ready to see yet.

"Haru." Rin called, stopping over his bed. Makoto smiled.

"Thank you for stopping by, Rin." The green eyed man knew that Haru's spirits would be lifted knowing that Rin actually cared enough to visit.

"Hello, Rin." Haru said. He seemed to be in a daze. The black haired swimmer couldn't believe Rin had actually showed up to show his support. Maybe Rin wasn't as cold or distant as Haru thought he was.

"Listen, I can't stay here long since I'm going for a night practice soon. But I just wanted to say something. Haru, anytime you need anything you can just call me, okay? I won't get mad, I promise." Haru could feel his heart become less heavy as he heard his old friend say this. And yes, friend was the appropriate word at this point. His eyes shined, and Rin could feel him giving the shark tooth boy a silent thanks. Rin then turned to Makoto.

"Makoto," he said, bowing. "Please take good care of Haru." As he walked out of the room, Makoto could feel the weird feeling in his chest. It almost like Rin was a parent, giving him permission to date his son. And speaking of love...

Makoto turned to speak to Haru, but he found that the blue eyed man was beginning to drift off to dreamland. Makoto smiled and lifted the blanket onto him and ran a hand comfortingly through his soft, jet black hair. He didn't have to worry about feelings right now, he decided. Meanwhile, this was all that Haru seemed to be thinking about.


	8. Hair

It had been a week since Haru had kissed Makoto, and neither of them had brought it up. It was too uncomfortable to mention, and they came to a silent decision that it would be better to wait awhile to address it again. Instead, they did things that Haru considered fun. See, unfortunately for Haru, the chemotherapy hadn't been working too well over the past few weeks. Sure it was slowly getting rid of the bad cells (well a little _too_ slowly for Haru's comfort), but it had gotten to a certain point that most high schoolers would consider a nightmare. Haru had noticed that it had gotten to that point while he was hanging out with Makoto in the afternoon.

"Oi, Haru. You have something in your hair." Makoto said as he reached over to pick out the fuzz from the pillow in Haru's hair. It took awhile get hold of it, but when Makoto did, he silently cheered. However, the smile on his face soon turned into a look of pure horror.

"Makoto, what's wrong?" Haru had asked, his voice full of concern. Makoto slowly and shakily lowered his hand to reveal that he was holding a chunk of something black. Haru soon realized that it was hair that he was holding.

His hair.

Haru honestly hadn't expected the shock to hit him so hard. Before, when he agreed to this, he wasn't bothered by losing hair. But now, seeing Makoto's horrified expression, Haru almost wished he could've taken back the decision he had made. Because he knew very well what his friend was thinking.

_He must be thinking that this is all his fault. He almost always does. I have to fix this fast._

"Makoto, it's fine. We can, uh, go wig shopping if you want."

...

Did he seriously just say that?

Haru mentally slapped himself. He could've said anything- swimming, video gaming- _anything_ would've been better than wig shopping! Makoto's not going to want to do something boring and tedious like that-

"Okay! That sounds really fun Haru!" he said, his face glowing from joy.

Well, it looked like Haru had underestimated Makoto.

Haru was too weak to walk, so he was put in a wheelchair for now. But still, Makoto was excited to go on a trip. He thought that it would make Haru at least a little bit happier after that stunt Makoto had pulled just a few seconds earlier. It wasn't as good as swimming, but it would at least improve his life a little bit. But then again, Makoto was a little bit weirded out by Haru's unusual request. He never thought the black haired boy- out of all things- would want to go wig shopping. But since it was Haru's request, who was Makoto to say no?

About an hour later, they happened to stumble upon a costume shop. Generally, costume shops were only opened during Halloween, but cosplayers didn't wait for Halloween, so that was convenient for them. Makoto wheeled Haru around the shop, simply amazed at the wide selection. They finally managed to make their way to the back, where the rack of wigs were. Most of them were for girls, and Makoto couldn't help but giggle a little when he imagined Haru in a Hatsune Miku wig.

"What's so funny?" Makoto shook his head.

"Nothing. Just thinking." Makoto said, struggling to stifle a laugh. Haru didn't like his vague answer, but figured it would be best to not pester him anymore. Makoto then turned his attention the boy wigs.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

After trying on a variety of boys wigs, with colors ranging from silver to rainbow, the boys finally found the right one.

"Haru! Look at this one." Makoto had said when they reached the end of the row. The wig was like Haru's old style, but with some ocean blue streaks. Makoto smiled.

"Kind of reminds you of the water, huh? So even if you can't be there, it'll always be with you." Haru looked up at Makoto, heart pounding. This man was the most considerate person he had ever met, with Doctor Nowaki being a close second.

"Let's get it."

A few minutes later, the two were out of the store, with Haru's wig in a bag. Not all of his hair had fallen off, but it was getting close. It was getting near the end of the day, so they walked back to the hospital. Before they went in however, Haru told Makoto to stop right beside the building, in a more secluded area. Makoto was confused, but complied. Once they were there, Haru took a deep breath and spoke.

"I wanted to talk about what happened last week." Makoto didn't understand what he meant until he thought back. At first, Haru thought that he was going to avoid the subject, or claim to not remember, but Makoto was always full of surprises. He remembered that sweet kiss well, and he supposed it was time to talk to Haru, just to confirm his feelings.

"I remember. I was nervous about it. I was nervous because I didn't expect it. But don't get me wrong, I... I did like it. I was hoping you did too. You make me happy, Haru, so I want to make you happy too." Makoto's voice had come out a little bit more shakily than he expected. Haru was surprised once again. He thought for sure Makoto was going to grow on up without him and have a wife and two kids. Makoto just always seemed like that type of man. But, he was happy too.

"You make me happy too. Please stay by my side for as long as I have, Makoto." Haru said. Makoto froze.

_"For as long as I have..."_

Ah yes, the very words that Makoto feared to hear. However, he tried to ignore it as much as possible. He didn't want to break the happy moment. He bent down to give Haru a kiss on the forehead.

"Of course I will, Haru-chan." It had been awhile since Makoto had used this nickname, but Haru didn't scold him like he usually did. He was too happy.

The next day, Nagisa and Rei came over to visit. Nagisa was the first one to notice Haru's wig.

"Oh wow Haru-chan! Those are cool colors! It's so awesome the doctor let you dye your hair before you start to lose it!" Rei nodded in agreement.

"Blue definitely suits you." he said as he adjusted his red glasses. Makoto looked extremely uncomfortable when Rei and Nagisa spoke, but Haru decided he'd explain with no discomfort.

"Actually Nagisa, I lost almost all of my hair yesterday. This is a wig." Haru shot a quick glance over to Makoto, who still would get a guilty look on his face every time Haru had mentioned this. Haru felt bad, but he'd reassure him later. Nagisa looked almost saddened at Haru's explaination, but brightened back up almost instantly.

"Well, Rei and I know how to help!" Nagisa reached towards Rei to grab a bag that neither Haru nor Makoto knew that he was carrying before. It was a small bag, but inside it had a dozen cookies. Each were different colors, courtesy of Nagisa's dyed dough.

"These look delicious. Thank you Nagisa and Rei." Makoto had said. Haru would've also given a thanks, but he was too busy trying one. Nagisa laughed as he saw Haru's face light up a little bit at the taste. This was definitely a good present for Haru.


	9. Drawing

It's my birthday today ^w^ I'm 16 now.

* * *

Today was a lazy day for Haru. Makoto had to get to school, so he was stuck alone in the bland hospital room until he came back to visit again.

_It's a good thing he's so smart, or I'd feel bad for keeping him here with me_. Haru thought as he stared at the TV in a trance. He was bored out of his mind, and TV wasn't helping. So he turned it off and brought out a sketch book Makoto had dropped off before going to school. See, swimming wasn't the only thing Haru was good at. The art club had noticed this as well, and had almost kidnapped Haru when he tried to recruit them for _his_ club. He couldn't help but smile at the memory. The times had really changed for him (in more ways than one) and he wasn't sure if he was going to like what lay ahead. But for now, he'd just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Five minutes had passed since Haru had first grabbed his pencil and paper, and all he had was a head shape. He wasn't exactly sure what to draw, all he knew was that he was in the mood. Another minute passed, and he finally decided to draw Nagisa. The head shape was perfect for the small boy anyway, so he got started.

By the time he was done with his blonde haired friend, he was ready to draw Rei. And after Rei, Makoto.

Haru's heart stopped at this.

There were so many possibilities when it came to his new found lover. He could draw him doing his signature gentle smile, or draw him getting excited over getting goldfish. Haru smiled at that. He just loved seeing Makoto happy. So it was hard to choose which expression to draw him in.

_Well maybe a few pictures instead of just one wouldn't hurt..._

"Haru!" Makoto called as he stepped into the room hours later. He found Haru on his bed, asleep. Makoto gave a chuckle.

"Did you get worn out without me?" he whispered as he walked over to the edge. He then noticed the sketch book, half open. With his curiosity piqued, he opened it to the first page to reveal a picture of Nagisa, who was smiling brightly. There were penguins all around the boy, which made Makoto smile. He flipped to the next page, which was Rei, who had a serious expression. He was surrounded by butterflies, which made Makoto laugh silently because nobody else he knew would have a serious expression when there was butterflies around. He flipped to the next page, only to reveal that it was him. He had his gentle smile on, and was surrounded by orca whales. He also seemed to be reaching his had out, as if he was inviting the artist to come on with him and swim. Makoto felt his heart pound as he turned to the next page. It was him again, this time with his twin brother and sister.

He flipped the page.

Him with a blue Popsicle they always shared.

Next page.

Him in his swimsuit, posing.

Next page.

Him holding a stuffed orca, pulling a cheerful expression.

Him, him, him. There were at least ten more pages of Makoto doing various activities. The very last page was of him and Haru. You couldn't see Haru's face because his back was turned, but he was hugging Makoto from the front, and Makoto was hugging back, with a gentle smile. Right beside the pair, it said in quotes,

"I love you."

Makoto's heart pounded. Haru had missed him all this time. He heard Haru stir beside him, then saw him open his eyes. Haru sat up to look at Makoto, who was holding the book.

"Good morning Haru!" Makoto said. Haru only stared.

"Did you look at that?" he asked simply. Makoto nodded.

"Haru, can I have these?" Haru was confused.

"Sure, but why?"

"Because they're cute. I like them." Haru widened his eyes in surprise. He could feel his cheeks heat up. And then before he knew what he was doing, he scooted forward and hugged Makoto with all the force his body could handle. He snuggled into Makoto's side.

"Makoto, I love you." he said, making the green eyed man's heart pound.

"I love you too, Haru." Haru then pulled away, and Makoto noticed that he gotten a sad expression on his face. He wondered what was wrong.

"What's wrong, Haru?"

"It's not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"That I've found the love of my life, and now I'm dying." Haru had said. Makoto kissed Haru's forehead and rubbed his back in an attempt to calm him down.

"It's not so bad, Haru. You're still alive and slowly improving. That's got to count for some-" Makoto froze. As soon as he had said the first sentence, Haru started to shake almost violently. He pulled away only to notice Haru had the guiltiest expression he had ever seen on his face. He started to speak, but his breaths came out shaky.

"Makoto, I'm... not exactly improving." he admitted. Makoto just stared.

What exactly had he meant by that?


	10. Love

"H-haru, what exactly do you mean?" Haru sighed. This was a secret he had meant to keep for a longer time, he hadn't wanted to worry Makoto or the others. But now there was no point in hiding it, since he didn't know how long he had anymore.

"My condition was fine over the past few weeks. But you know how I am when it comes to healing. So now, it's gotten worse." Makoto could only stare, shocked at what Haru had just said. But when Makoto thought about it, it was true that Haru wasn't a good healer. He recalled a time in elementary school when Haru fell on the playground. Any normal kid would've dusted themselves off and continued to play. But Haru was a bit more fragile, and his knee ended up a bloody mess. Makoto of course, was worried, but Haru was indifferent. However, that day had reminded the blue eyed boy that that was the reason he took up swimming, and not any other sport. With swimming, there was no possible way to get hurt, unless you were stupid, or careless, or both. At least, that was what Haru thought.

"Haru, that's... Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because I didn't want to worry anyone. Please, don't tell this to Nagisa or Rei. I'm just as scared as everyone else." Makoto would've been shocked what Haru had just said about being scared if he wasn't extremely depressed already. As far as anyone knew, Haru was never the type to get scared, not even a little bit frightened. But the brunette only tried to calm himself down. Suddenly, thoughts in Makoto's head began to make less and less sense. He then looked at Haru with a determined gaze.

"Haru, let's go swimming." Haru was almost convinced that Makoto was crazy.

"Makoto, that's impossible. I can barely move my legs." But Makoto wasn't ready to give up yet.

"I'll hold you." Haru felt himself blush at this. The thought of Makoto's big, strong arms wrapped around his smaller torso was actually pretty appealing to him. Plus he hadn't gone swimming in forever, so why not?

"Okay." Makoto brightened at this, got Haru in his wheelchair, and sped off toward the nearest pool.

It had taken awhile to get there, but the two both decided to swim at the school pool to avoid any suspicion from anyone else. After all, normal wheelchair bound people didn't often go swimming. Haru could feel himself get excited at being able to swim. Or float, rather, but he was going to be in water nonetheless. And with his favorite person too. This was truly a good way to spend what would most likely be his final months.

Once they had reached the locker rooms, they ran into another problem. Since Haru was too weak to move his legs or arms, it was going to be hard to get dressed and undressed. But after about a minute of thinking, Makoto thought of the perfect idea. Well, as close to perfect as he could get. There was still one thing that Makoto was thinking of...

"Haru, I thought of something." The green eyed man said in a small voice. Haru turned to see Makoto, who was beet red. Haru raised an eyebrow in question. Makoto swallowed then spoke again.

"I-I could undress and redress you, you know..." If Haru had been eating something, he would've choked on it out of surprise. Makoto had noticed his sudden mood change, and turned away in pure embarrassment. However, Haru didn't quite mind Makoto undressing and redressing him. They were lovers, after all.

_Hmm, Makoto sure is cute when he's embarrassed_. Suddenly Haru felt like a pervert. He almost wanted to smirk.

"That sounds good to me." Makoto slowly made his way over, and began taking off the smaller male's shirt. But surprisingly, Makoto didn't close his eyes like Haru expected. He had regained his composure (although his face was still red) and slipped it completely off.

"Wow Haru, I'm amazed. You still kept your figure even after weeks of sitting around." Makoto commented as he started reaching for his pants.

"So you were looking." Makoto turned an even brighter shade of red.

"You don't have to put it that way..." he said as he began to slide off Haru's pants. Makoto had known _exactly_ what Haru had meant by that. Once those were all the way off, he reached for the black haired boy's swimsuit. And then he stared at his underwear.

_Oh God, this can't end well..._

With that thought out of the way, Makoto began to pull down Haru's underwear. The look that the taller man had on his face amused Haru to no end.

"Maybe we could skip swimming and you could give me a blow job instead," Makoto yelped in surprise. "Just kidding. But you should consider it."

"S-shut up Haru. The more you talk, the less I concentrate and the harder this is." Makoto suddenly felt that his wording wasn't exactly appropriate for that situation, considering he had used the phrase "**harder** this is." Haru had only smiled a little bit. His boyfriend was so cute.

"Finally, we're in the pool!" Makoto said as he lifted the smaller boy in. After the awkward locker room incident, the green eyed man was glad to be out of there and into the pool. Haru was the most ecstatic he'd been since the whole diagnosis. Makoto was truly a great human being for doing this for him. They floated around the pool for awhile while Haru rested his head on Makoto's shoulder. With the way that Makoto was swaying him back and forth gently, it was almost like they were dancing. Haru loved this feeling, wishing he could stay like this forever. Makoto loved it too. It almost made him forget that the beautiful boy resting on him was dying. This was their bliss.

After awhile of silence, Makoto decided that it was time to bring Haru back to the hospital. He had a feeling that the employees weren't going to like him very much for just taking one their patients away for more than a couple hours. But in his mind, it was worth it.

Inside the locker room, it was time to get Haru dressed once again. This time, Makoto wasn't as embarrassed about putting Haru's underwear on as he was before.

That was until he accidentally brushed Haru's lower regions.

Haru let out a small but loud moan, prompting Makoto to blush heavily.

"Makoto..." Haru could barely get that out. Makoto had a feeling he knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Remember earlier when I said you should give me a blow job?" Makoto sighed. He knew this was coming.

_Coming_.

God dammit.

And thus Haru received his first ever blow job.

When they were back at the hospital, the staff weren't too happy about Haru's late arrival. But luckily, Doctor Nowaki was there to save the day. He gave a perfect excuse as to why Haru had gone missing, even though he hadn't even known that Haru had gone missing in the first place. Haru had just smiled at Nowaki, happy to have had him and Makoto there for him. Today had been an amazing day.


	11. Decline

Haru was honestly surprised that he had lasted this long. Over the many months he had been living, he had learned to cherish every day, even if he was getting weaker by the day. Still, it wasn't fair that the cancer had progressed despite the chemotherapy and other treatments.

Today for Haru was a check up day, aka one of the 'find out how long I have left' days. He sat nervously as the doctor reviewed his results. Every time he'd had one of these days, he found the time he had was declining. But not at a rapid rate, which made it just a tiny bit better. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't deny that everything was going to be alright anymore. He knew that he was lying to himself, and this was especially apparent when he glanced at himself in a mirror. He still had his wig, but he lost all of his other hair on his body. His eyes were now less shiny of a blue, almost gray. He had dark circles underneath his eyes too. His skin was now extremely pale, so pale that you could trace the networks of blue and green veins. Also, he was almost always cold for some reason he couldn't understand. On top of everything else, he was now too weak to even get out of bed. To say that this sucked was a huge understatement. The worse part of it was that everyone had noticed his decline in health too. Especially Makoto.

"Haru! I'm here. And I brought someone too." The soft, familiar voice of his lover pierced the silence of the room, and Haru wondered who he could've possibly brought.

"Hey Haru. It's been awhile." Haru froze at the voice. It was Rin Matsouka. What was he going to tell him?

"Hello Rin." Haru greeted as the two walked up beside him. Rin would never admit it in a million years, but the sight of Haru made him almost want to cry. He was nothing like the Haru he used to know. Haru didn't like this either. He knew Rin was upset because of him again. But he also knew that this time it was different. This was a different type of race, a race against time. A race Rin would've been more than happy for Haru to have won.

But unfortunately for everyone, it would seem that Haru would be losing this.

The two talked like old friends for a long time until it reached night. Rin said his goodbyes and walked out, looking even more pained than he had before.

_I hate it when people look at me like that_. Haru thought miserably as he rolled on his side. Makoto, sensing his discomfort, reached down and hugged Haru as hard as he could without injuring him. Haru could feel Makoto shaking.

"H-haru. I'm sorry." he suddenly said. Haru was slightly surprised at Makoto's sudden comment.

"For what?" _What could you be sorry for? You've done exactly as I've asked and made me the happiest guy alive_.

"Well, I said I'd f-fight with you. A-and so far, we're losing. I know it's not my f-fault, but I just feel so guilty..." At this point, Haru could feel tears on his shoulder. He pulled back to see Makoto's eyes, which were slightly red around the rims. Small tear drops had made their way around the bottom of his eyes, and there was a small stream going down his face.

Haru decided that out of everything in the world, seeing Makoto in pain was the worst thing he'd ever see. He had to fix this quick.

"Makoto. It's okay. You've tried your best. I-"

"My best wasn't good enough, Haru!" Makoto suddenly blurted, more tears streaming down his face. Haru had no idea what to say at this point. So he pulled his green eyed lover close and kissed him. They stayed there for a long time, neither one of them attempting to break the contact that Haru had created. Haru soon found that he ended up cradling Makoto in his arms, rubbing his back for comfort, until they broke the kiss. At this point, Makoto had stopped crying, and Haru spoke with a small smile on his pale face.

"Makoto, I love you so much. I don't think I could live without you. If you weren't here the whole time by my side, I would've been dead a long time ago. You and everyone else are the reason I've been alive. You all did your best, and that's all that counts. So, thank you." Haru reached over and placed a small kiss on Makoto's soft lips. Makoto was beyond shocked at Haru's small speech. He had never, ever heard Haru talk this much in his life. It made him smile, even if the smile was just a little bit sad.

"Haru... I love you too. I don't know when you'll die, but let's make the best of the time you have left, okay?" Makoto said with his gentle smile. Haru smiled too, until he was reminded of something.

"That's right. I never did get to hear how long I had." The results were laying right beside him, but had been untouched since Rin had visited. Makoto nervously grabbed the paper full of statistics and handed it to Haru, who nervously accepted with his now bony fingers. Upon looking at the paper, Haru's heart sank.

_Approximately 1 month._..

This was all Haru had to read before he handed the document to Makoto to read. Haru couldn't bear seeing Makoto's upset face, so he turned his head away as Makoto silently skimmed it.

"Well Haru. I guess we'll have to make the best of our month then." There was a bit of determination in the taller's voice, and it felt good to hear.

"Yeah. We will."

All through the night, they told themselves that it'd be alright like they had many times before, all the while wondering if Haru would really make it past the next month.

_Please make the month beautiful..._


	12. List (pt 1)

The next day after Haru's check in, the two boys compiled a long and complicated list of things to do before Haru died. There was some stuff that the two of them could handle easily, and then there was the dangerous stuff that Haru had picked out himself. Well, Haru didn't think it was dangerous, but a certain green eyed boy thought it was. At first, Makoto said no to everything Haru had added that he considered dangerous-he didn't want his beloved to die any sooner than he had to- but then Haru gave him an excuse for doing it.

"Makoto, have you ever heard the American phrase 'yolo'?" Haru had asked. Makoto groaned in frustration. _Yes_, he had heard yolo before. And Haru was taking the phrase way too seriously for his own good. But even after Makoto had shot yolo down, Haru had pulled out his last pleading tactic. He came up extremely close (too close for comfort in Makoto's opinion) and made his shiny, ocean eyes sparkle like never before. He even went so far as to pull a shota boy pout, just for his boyfriend. Makoto could see the desperate pleading in his lover's eyes, and as much as he hated to admit it, Haru was fucking adorable when he did that. So, with a sigh and a half hearted "fine" Haru was granted permission to do whatever dangerous stunt he wanted to.

"And remember Makoto, yolo." Haru said as he hopped into his wheelchair, eager to get started. Makoto just sighed and began pushing him away from the room.

God damn Americans.

*Time skip*

There was a lot of things Haru and Makoto did together on that long, long list, but for the sake of simplicity, the top ten would be the most important to share. These go in no particular ranking or order, just the top ten best things that happened over the month. So, without further ado, we now prepare for the montage:

#1: See the firefly squids glow

Haru had remembered that when Makoto and him were younger, they both made a pact to visit the firefly squids at night time when they grew up. Over the years, with all the swimming competitions and the Rin situation, they often were too busy to make time for each other outside of school, besides just staying the night at each other's houses. So, the two figured now was as good as anytime ever to keep that pact.

It was a beautiful night when they traveled to see the spectacular sight. Stars lit up the charcoal sky as they made their way over to where everyone was standing. A large crowd had gathered to watch these magnificent creatures glow, and Haru and Makoto were among them, watching in awe as the creatures swam around. They were bright and blue, and glowed fiercely too. The two stared at the squid for awhile and let their minds wander. The whole beauty of the scene reminded them of easier times, and they found themselves getting lost in happiness. The first one to break from their moment of euphoria was Makoto, who leaned down to kiss Haru's head. Makoto had never seen the latter happier in his life, and he was so glad he got to witness Haru's joyful smile. Haru looked up, his ocean blue eyes shining.

"Makoto, thank you for taking me here." he whispered as he wrapped his arms around his lover. Makoto smiled.

"You're welcome Haru."

Later that night, the two had accidentally missed the last train to take them back home, but they didn't mind so much. The pair ended up renting a hotel to sleep together in, even if the hospital staff weren't too happy about Haru not sleeping in a place without medicine. But the duo honestly could care less. As long as they were happy, that was all that mattered.

#2: Skinny dipping at midnight

Ah yes. This was one of the things that Makoto had considered "dangerous." Not because they were naked (he actually didn't mind that one bit) but because it was dark and hard to see. But Haru's compelling argument was:

"We'll just sneak into the school pool. We've only been ever caught sneaking around twice." Makoto sighed. Haru really could be a handful sometimes, whether he meant to be one or not. But, the green eyed boy couldn't deny Haru of his wishes, so he complied.

"And remember Makoto, yo-"

"Don't you even say it," Makoto warned. However, before he could go on to lecture Haru about not dying an early death, he suddenly realized something. "Wait a second, how are we even supposed to sneak out of the hospital at midnight?" Cue the mischievous glimmer in Haru's eyes. Makoto swallowed. This can't possibly be good.

Makoto had been right. Haru's plan of attack was to hide Makoto in the room since visiting hours were dwindling down by the minute. Then, after all the nurses and doctors left, have Makoto wheel him quickly down the hallway without stopping no matter what.

_I can't believe I'm doing this._ the brunette thought as he hid in one of the tall cabinets in the room.

A few hours after the nurses and doctors had left Haru's room to let him sleep, he climbed out of his uncomfortable hiding space and softly woke Haru, who had fallen asleep waiting. Even though he was tired himself, Makoto had to admit that the sight of a sleepy Haru rubbing his tired eyes was almost worth waiting. It was pretty damn cute in his opinion.

"Come on Haru, it's 11:30. We can make it by midnight if we hurry." Makoto whispered. Haru nodded enthusiastically, albeit still too drowsy to process words correctly. He silently slipped into his wheelchair, and off they went.

It wasn't long before the two reached the pool and were now completely naked. The night air was a bit chilly, but they didn't mind since they had the warmth of their bodies to keep them cozy. Before long, the same feeling of bliss and tranquility had overtaken them once again, and the two found themselves passionately lip locked not two minutes after they got in the water. Makoto floated in place while Haru swayed with him, creating a calming lull. It was once again, absolutely perfect, even if Haru was too weak to do anything other than float around with Makoto and kiss him with all he had. But both boys would remember this night for a long time after it happened, for this was the best feeling in the world.

#3: Ride in a hot air balloon

This one had actually been quite a surprise to Haru. He wasn't even sure if wheelchairs were allowed on hot air balloons. Hell, he wasn't even sure where Makoto would even take him for that sort of thing. But as it turns out, Makoto had a plan up his sleeve the whole time. A nice manager to a hot air balloon company that was primarily for advertising happened to hear of Haru's condition and decided that the boy had deserved happiness.

Haru could hardly believe that the man was actually asking them to board one of the hot air balloons, until he heard and saw the blaze of fire right above him. The inferno was hot, but it lifted them into the air. They floated up, up, up, until they reached a point where you could see almost all of Japan. And just like with the firefly squid, Haru and Makoto were awestruck at the view. Actually, Haru was awestruck at the view of the water, and not anything else, because he loved water. He glanced over at the second thing he loved, and was happy to discover Makoto was enjoying himself instead of worrying over Haru. Haru loved the boy's smile, and on impulse he found himself reaching for Makoto's hand. The green eyed swimmer gladly took it as they took in the gorgeous view. Haru had loved the surprise that Makoto had given him. He thought of it as Makoto saying, "Look at this beauty. This is our world, so let's share it together." Of course, many people would call Haru crazy for having such thoughts, but he didn't care. In fact, he didn't care enough to share with Makoto his thoughts over lunch. Makoto ended smiling and almost laughing at Haru's explaination.

"What?" Haru had asked. Had Makoto not thought of it that way?

"Nothing. I just think it's cute that you think of it that way. I love your way of thinking. I love you." Oh. Haru found that his face had started to burn when Makoto talked. Said man only laughed even more and leaned across the table and kissed Haru's nose. Haru was surprised.

"You did that even though we're in public?" Makoto knew exactly what Haru was implying when he said this.

"If they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves." Makoto said, tossing a gentle smile in Haru's direction. Haru didn't even know Makoto was capable of cursing.

He kind of liked it.

* * *

Alrighty people, the second part of the list will be posted most likely tomorrow, since I realized that it'd probably be a pain to read (and write!) it all in one chapter. I tried my best to split up the writing evenly, so hopefully neither one of these chapters will be too short :P


	13. List (pt 2)

#4: Get a tattoo

At first, Makoto did not like the idea of Haru getting something that could potentially harm him. Makoto had to ask the hospital's permission before Haru could get something like that. He figured the appropriate time to ask was the next time the doctor came to check on how he was doing. Conveniently enough, that was right at this very second. As soon as the doctor stepped into the room, Makoto had gotten his attention.

"Excuse me, but do you think it'd be okay for Haru to get a tattoo?" Makoto asked politely. The doctor seemed to ponder this for a second before answering.

"Well I don't see why not. His skin is healthy enough." Makoto saw Haru's eyes light up a little bit, and smiled. The doctor had almost wondered aloud why Haru wanted to even get a tattoo, but he stopped himself just in time when he realized the heart breaking answer.

_You go live what's left of your life, kid. Don't let anyone stop you._

About half an hour later, the two stopped at a local tattoo shop, and looked around for designs. Less than two seconds after they started browsing, Haru stopped and looked at Makoto with a determination in his eyes that Makoto couldn't explain.

"Haru? What's up?"

"You should get one too." Cue the spit take.

"Haru, that's crazy!" he nearly shouted. He then added in a softer tone, "You know how I am with needles..." Oh yeah. Haru had almost forgotten that Makoto was a scaredy cat, and one of his many fears included needles. Especially giant needles like those in a tattoo parlor.

"It's okay Makoto. I'll hold your hand." Makoto almost groaned at this.

"Haru, you can't hold my hand. That's just embarrassing." But Haru didn't seem to care. Makoto sighed once again, then began contemplating his options.

_I always did kind of like the idea of getting a tattoo. But needles are scary, and there's always a risk of infection! I guess I should ask Haru why he wanted me to get a tattoo in the first place before I make any hasty decisions._ And when Makoto did ask Haru, the answer he received was just as he expected it to be. The freestyle swimmer simply wanted to Makoto remember him, remember the times they shared.

_Well, why not?_ "Alright Haru, I'll get one. Which one were you looking at? Haru pointed to a picture of a small cadet blue dolphin.

"That one's mine," he started out. Then, he pointed at a killer whale. "That one's yours." Makoto had realized why he chose those two, and smiled. Sometimes Haru really was cute.

"Okay."

And despite the protests and pleas, Haru did end up holding Makoto's hand through the entire procedure. But only because he wanted to.

#5: Sleep on the roof of the hospital

This one was mostly meant to star gaze, which had been a favorite past time of the two of them. But at the same time, it wasn't every night that you got to sleep on the roof of the hospital. It was a chilly night, and despite all the blankets and futons that were brought out, Haru was still cold. So, Makoto had snuggled right up against him, all while sadly remembering why Haru was so cold all of the time. Truth be told, Makoto was scared that he'd wake up the next morning, and Haru would be dead in his arms. He couldn't bear the sight of that. But he decided not to dwell on it too much. Right now, the teen was breathing, and that's all that mattered.

"Haru, aren't the stars pretty?" Makoto asked after a little while of staring in absolute silence.

"Yes." came Haru's muffled reply. His face was right buried into Makoto's shoulder, which made Haru really, really cute. However, Haru's next question actually caught Makoto by surprise.

"Makoto, what's wrong? You've been rigid for a long time now." Makoto tensed even more, not sure whether he should tell Haru what had been going on in his mind previously.

_Well, I guess there's no use in denying my thoughts. Haru's just going to pester me about it until I speak_.

"Haru, I was just feeling a little nervous, that's all." Makoto said quietly.

"Nervous? About what?"

"About you dying. I'm afraid that one day I'll come to the hospital and the doctors will say that you've died while I was gone. You know, I couldn't live with myself if you had died and I hadn't been there to at least say goodbye." Makoto could feel himself sniff, and he cursed his emotions for getting in the way of their perfect night. But Haru only snuggled even closer to Makoto.

"It's okay Makoto. I'll be happy no matter what. Even if you don't say goodbye, I'll die knowing that you missed me."

Needless to say, Makoto was very happy. The stars seemed to twinkle even brighter than before as the two fell asleep in each other's arms.

#6: Paint all over each other

First the tattoo, now this? What even went on in Haru's brain?

"Haru, why are we doing this again?" Makoto had asked as he eyed the various colored paint cans.

"Because I want to." he answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Makoto wasn't sure whether he wanted to sigh or laugh, so he ended up doing both.

After all the cans of paint were opened, Makoto and Haru had stripped down to their boxers and dipped their paintbrushes in their color choices. And-big surprise- Haru had chosen the blue color, while Makoto had chosen the green color. They soon brought the paintbrushes to their skin, and both shivered upon the cool contact of paint. They began by painting each other's chests. Haru had many blue swirls, and Makoto had many green curved lines. Haru often grabbed for pink, red, white, orange and yellow, while Makoto often grabbed for a variety of colors, dotting them in various places. By the time they were done covering the chest and most of the abdomen, they painted each other's backs, then arms, then legs. The entire process took over two hours, with minimal talking. By the time they were done, there was hardly any place where skin 'wasn't' covered. They had the hospital take pictures, and when that was done they viewed them immediately. First up was Makoto.

"Oh wow Haru! You painted a sunset on my chest!" Haru blushed at Makoto's excitement. He was making a big deal at something Haru thought was so insignificant, which Haru thought was one of his many forms of affection. Next up was his back, which had a giant orca whale on it. His arms and legs were covered in various, blended shades of green. And to top it off, Haru had painted a small, red heart on his cheek. Makoto smiled his trademark gentle smile and thanked Haru for all of his work as they moved on to Haru. Now, everyone knew that Makoto was terrible at drawing, but not at painting. He ended up painting a forest on Haru's chest, and every tree leaf and tree trunk was finely detailed. His back was almost completely black, except for the occasional blue dot that dotted it. Haru gasped as he realized that Makoto had drawn the firefly squid they were so fond of. And then, his arms and legs. Basically, Makoto had turned Haru's limbs into rainbows because of all the colors he used. And once again, to top it all off, a pink heart was placed right on Haru's cheek.

"That sure was fun. I'm going to go take a shower." Makoto said as he turned to leave. But Haru caught him just before he could open the door, and their wonderful art pieces were soon turned to an ugly mess as Haru had embraced Makoto.

"I want to shower with you." Makoto could feel his heart speed up at this. He grinned and answered.

"Okay."

~What happened while they were in the shower is up to the viewer's imagination.~

#7: Bake cookies with Nagisa and Rei

Haru had realized that he could've done this anytime with the two, except for the fact that the three members of the swim club still went to school and often had a lot of homework to complete. Rei was always done with his homework, being the responsible person he was, but he often had to help Nagisa, who could be a pain in the ass when it came to homework. So on one of their off days, they figured it be the perfect opportunity to visit Haru. Makoto was actually surprised at this bucket list request, considering baking wasn't exactly Haru's favorite thing to do. Baking took a long time, and Haru was really impatient.

"So Haru, why did you ask them to come bake with you? I thought you didn't like baking." Makoto asked. They were currently in the Tachibana residence, since Haru's old home had to be sold for various hospital related reasons. Haru's cheeks turned a light pink as he spoke.

"Nagisa's Mackerel cookies were good and I wanted to get the recipe." Haru said, turning away so Makoto couldn't read him. But Makoto didn't even have to look into his eyes to see what he was really thinking. Basically, Haru had really, really liked Nagisa's cookies and was hoping he could bake more and then keep them to himself to indulge in. Makoto stifled a giggle as he thought about how embarrassed Haru was for thinking that. But before he could say anything, six loud bangs from Nagisa and a couple protesting cries from Rei could be heard from behind the door. Makoto smiled and went to open the door only to reveal the two bickering about something, as per usual. Nagisa turned to Makoto as soon as the door was opened and greeted him.

"Hello Mako-chan! Is Haru-chan around?" Nagisa asked, popping his head in to scan the room for Haru. Haru wheeled his way over and greeted the two. Not long after, the kitchen had been set up to accommodate all of Haru's mackerel, and Nagisa's cooking ingredients.

"Alright! Let's get started!" Nagisa shouted as he instructed his friends on what to do. Everyone was excited for the how the final product would turn out, especially Haru. However, what they _didn't_ know was that Nagisa hadn't written down accurate instructions, which he hadn't bothered to tell them. And let's just say that when Nagisa doesn't follow a specific set of instructions,well, _things_ can happen...

And an hour later, the four find themselves in a kitchen covered in mackerel, burnt cookie dough, and sugar. Nagisa had been in charge of setting the oven temperature. That was a terrible, terrible mistake. The oven ended up exploding on them, and any loose ingredients had flown in every direction. After the initial shock had worn off, Makoto had sat up from his pile of various foods and asked in exasperation,

"Nagisa! What temperature did you even set the oven to?" Nagisa, whose face was covered in sugar, thought for a moment.

"If I remember right, I set it to 535 degrees Celsius*!" he answered, almost proudly. All three jaws dropped. Makoto didn't even know his oven could go that high!

"Whaaat?! Nagisa, that's way too hot!" Makoto said, even more exasperated than before. Nagisa gave a small pout.

"I just wanted to have them done as fast as possible." Makoto groaned and shook his head, while Rei continued to lecture him.

Needless to say, Nagisa was no longer allowed to use the oven.

#8: Relaxation Day

Another thing that Haru and Makoto could've done anytime. However, this time Makoto actually skipped school completely instead of waiting until the end to visit Haru. It was around this time that Haru had gotten so weak that he could hardly lift himself into his chair anymore. However, Haru had guessed he gotten weak from doing too many fun things over his final month. This made him very happy. So now was one of his resting days, and he got to spend it with his lover. He figured this would be a good time to really connect with his special someone, and ask him questions that he'd never been able to ask before. As soon as Makoto had gotten there, Haru wasted no time pulling him into the white hospital bed with him, and cuddled up against him. Makoto smiled softly and kissed him, wrapping his strong arms around his tiny torso.

"Makoto, I want to ask you some things. Is that okay?" Makoto had no idea where this had come from, but he saw no reason to say no.

"Okay. Go ahead."

"First, what is your favorite color?" Well that was a bit unusual.

"I don't really know. I like all of them." Silence. Then,

"What's your favorite season?"

"That's easy. I love summer. The weather is warm, and I get to swim with you." Haru felt his heart speed up at this. It was at this time when Haru realized the real question that had been weighing heavily on his mind.

"Makoto, what are you going to do when I'm gone?" Haru asked, all other questions erased from his mind. He felt Makoto tense up, and almost regretted asking.

"I... I honestly don't know Haru. It'll be hard to find someone else that makes me as happy as you do, but I have Nagisa, Rei, and Kou to look after me. They'll be able to take care of me as well as you did. But understand that I will never, ever forget you, okay?" Makoto said, nuzzling his face into the crook of Haru's neck. Haru's heart fluttered a little bit and he kissed Makoto's head in appreciation.

"Makoto, I love you." he whispered as he began drifting off to sleep.

"I love you too, Haru."

#9: Visit the elementary school

This was simply for nostalgia's sake, for Haru and Makoto to bring back sweet, memories. They mostly wanted to see the old cherry blossom tree, where they had put phrases and drew pictures on bricks. It wasn't long before the two found their own. Although they were slightly faded because of time, they could very well remember all the times that were had.

"Makoto, when I die, will you find a way to take my brick to my parents?" Makoto was surprised at the sudden random request. But he supposed he could try.

"Yes."

#10: Propose to Makoto

Makoto had surprised him, now it was his turn to surprise Makoto. See, the one thing that Haru had definitely, definitely wanted to do before he died was get married. However, seeing as that would never come true, he figured he could come close.

_I'll just put the ring on Makoto's pointer finger. That way, the reality of it will be less sad_. the blue eyed teen thought as he waited for Makoto to come visit. He smiled a little bit as he remembered when he told one of the doctor's his plan. The doctor told his colleagues, all of which absolutely adored the two being together even if they did cause a little mischief, and almost everyone had pitched in to help Haru complete his goal. In the end, Haru had gotten a steel one, with a band of sapphire that curled its way around the ring. For Makoto, basically the same thing, but with a band of emerald around it. On the inside, he had engraved something:

'_Forever_'

He knew it wasn't much, but Makoto would appreciate it. Haru had just set it under the pile of magazines he was reading when suddenly, the door opened. Makoto greeted him and walked in like he did every day. Haru swallowed. It was now or never.

"Makoto, there's something I need to tell you," Makoto froze, and Haru could tell he was assuming the worst. "It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Well, what is it then?" Haru pushed all of the magazines aside and revealed two boxes underneath. It took a few seconds for Makoto to get it, but the gasp that was heard beside Haru told him that he got it. He picked up the two boxes and opened them. He then faced Makoto, who had the hugest smile had ever seen. His entire body was shaking, and his eyes were already tearing up.

"Haru..."

"I wanted to get married when I got older, but that won't happen. So this is as close as I will ever get. Makoto, will you be with me for as long as I have?" Makoto was so over come with emotion that all he could was nod his head enthusiastically. The two did the exchanging of rings, and Makoto reached forward to hug Haru, whispering that he loved him so very much.

Meanwhile, the nurses and doctors that had been watching the whole event squealed in delight. This was like a light in their dark every day jobs. It felt like the moment could never be broken, for it was so sweet and perfect. Little did they all know that everything would be changing a few days later.

But for now, they enjoyed their happiness.

* * *

*535 degrees is almost 1000 degrees in Fahrenheit xD

/mens-wedding-bands/ ~just a link in case you were interested in what the rings looked like (it's the third image down, just imagine it with their respective colors)


	14. Free

It was a beautiful, Sunday evening when it happened. The sun was just beginning to set, bringing out the vibrant orange, yellow, and red hues of the sky. The town itself was wrapped in a tranquility like no other, and the serenity of the whole scene was very calming to the two boys in the white hospital room. They both watched the sunset, reminiscing their final month together. Haru had been hooked up life support, just for a little while longer, the two boys had insisted. Makoto shuddered as he remembered the afternoon's events.

_"Makoto, my body aches. It hurts so much. It hurts and I'm scared. Does this mean I'm dying?" Haru had asked. Makoto saw the pain and the hurt in his beautiful eyes, but couldn't bring himself to answer his question. It hurt him too much to see his beloved laying there in agony, just waiting for his life to be taken away. If he could trade places with this boy, he'd do it in a heart beat._

_"Haru, I'm sorry. So very sorry. If there's anything I can do to make it less painful, just tell me, okay?" There was a brief silence before Haru answered._

_"First, get me on life support. Then," Haru's voice turned small and feeble as he said this, "Hold my hand. And sing me a song. That way when I go, I can remember how much I loved you, no, how much I'll always love you."_

And now, Makoto was here, still holding Haru's hand for comfort. Haru had made it through the past few hours, but with each passing minute, he was getting weaker and weaker, his heart monitor going slower and slower as time passed them by.

"Hey Haru, isn't the sunset pretty?" Makoto had asked to lighten up the anxiousness that had grown.

"Yes. It's beautiful."

"Good. I'm glad I got to see it with you," Despite the fact that Haru's heart was slowly beating, he swore he could feel it speed up a little bit at Makoto's words.

_That's right... I'll never be able to hear his voice or feel his touch again..._

Makoto looked down at the dying boy and smiled a sad, gentle smile.

"Haru, I... Thank you." Haru was confused.

"For what?"

"For sharing your life with me. I've had some of the best times I could've possibly wished for with you, even if you don't say much. When you proposed to me, that made me the happiest man ever, you know? I wish I could spend the rest of my life with you, but I guess now... I..." Makoto hadn't even noticed the tears had been running down his cheeks until he stopped talking. His small smile was no longer there with the horrible thoughts now in place, but he tried to perk back up. He laughed a little bit.

"Sorry, I guess I'm rambling, huh?" he said as he shook. The tall boy sniffed a little bit, and he finally heard Haru speak up.

"Makoto, are you scared?" The brunette was slightly surprised at the question directed toward him, but answered it.

"Yes, Haru. I don't want you to leave." he whispered as a choked sob was let out. He suddenly felt something cold grasp his hand, and he realized that it was Haru. He looked at Haru, who only smiled.

"Don't be. I'll always be with you in your heart. When you grow up and get married and have your two kids, I'll be with you. Always." Makoto let out a bittersweet laugh, and he sniffed as he thought about what Haru said.

"Two kids? Haru, what are you talking about?" Haru blushed at his embarrassing thoughts, which only made Makoto laugh and cry even more. "Haru, I'm gonna miss you and your quirkiness." the brunette said, placing a small kiss on his significant other's forehead. Just then, Nagisa and Rei silently opened the door, both silently praying that today was not the day that Haru was going to be dying. After all, it was nice to give surprise visits to your friends. But unfortunately, their sights were met with Haru laying in bed, hooked up to life support, making both gasp in horror. Nagisa started bawling at the sight.

"Haru-chan please! You can't die, you have to be better! If you don't get better, who's gonna be my best man at my wedding? Who's going to teach more people to swim like pros?" Rei had a look of pain cross his features before he took Nagisa in his arms and hugged him tight. The blonde sobbed on Rei's shoulder, and he could feel the dampness on his skin in a matter of seconds.

"Nagisa... Please don't be upset," Rei whispered to him, stroking his back for comfort. "Haruka-senpai will be alright. He won't be in pain once he passes. Don't you want him to be happy?" Nagisa temporarily looked up at the blue haired swimmer and nodded, sniffling a bit as small whimpers slipped out. Nagisa knew that this was for Haru's sake, he just had a hard time accepting it. But before Nagisa could reply to Rei, the door once again opened, this time to reveal Rin.

"Ah, there he is," Rei said as he stepped to the side to let Rin pass. "We told him today would be a good day for a surprise visit, and it seems like we were right." he said bitterly. However, Rin hadn't even paid any attention to what anyone was doing. He simply stared at Haru. Then finally, after a few minutes, he did something Haru hadn't seen him do in a long time.

He cried.

The sight of Haru in that bed proved to be too much, and the red haired swimmer stepped out of the room in order to avoid it all. But Haru on the other hand, felt overjoyed that Rin had come to see him in his final moments.

_Thank you Rin... You have no idea what this means to me._

And then, couple minutes after Rin had visited them, Haru finally spoke. He simply couldn't take the pain of being alive anymore.

"Makoto, unplug the machine," Makoto was almost startled at his sudden request, but understood. Haru whispered, "Please... make the pain go away. I-I'll see you and everyone in Heaven. And when we do meet, we can swim together for as long as we want." Haru said weakly. Nagisa suddenly let out a series of sobs, and Rei had to calm him down by stroking his blonde hair.

"No Mako-chan! Please don't let Haru-chan die! I want him to feel better and swim with us! Please don't make him die! Not yet!" Nagisa's words stung, and Makoto felt himself crying.

"It's... It's for the best, Nagisa." he said as he turned to face the swimmer, tears glistening.

"I love you, Haru." he whispered one last time as he shakily unplugged the machine. Haru smiled and closed his eyes.

_I love you too, even if I'm too weak to say it..._

The funeral was held the following day, and all three Iwatobi boys-even Rei- skipped school to attend. All around them were people dressed in black, some of them sobbing, some of them being comforted by other people who looked like they were trying not to break down too.

"Today, we honor the life of Haruka Nanase..." the service man started out. While the man made his solemn yet beautiful speech, Makoto looked around to see Nagisa shaking, Rei holding him, Haru's mom being comforted by his dad, and Doctor Nowaki, who Haru had actually requested come to his funeral. It all felt so surreal to the brunette. It felt like just yesterday that Haru had proposed to him, just yesterday that Haru and him took their final dip in the pool. Nothing even felt real.

The service man finally concluded his speech by letting anyone who wanted one last look at Haru come up and look, for Haru had also requested to be cremated. His ashes were to be thrown into the ocean, where he really belonged. Makoto smiled bitter sweetly as he looked one last time at his lover's body.

_At least he's finally free..._

Later that night, Makoto had locked himself up in his room and allowed himself to release every emotion he had held within him. He stared at the pictures Haru had drawn of him while he sobbed uncontrollably.

"Oh Haru..." he whispered as his sobs got louder and louder with each painful and wretched emotion that had passed him. Memories ranging from elementary school to high school flooded his mind. He glanced over at the extremely long bucket list the two had created. He forced his lips into a smile as he took out a pen. See, the last thing on that they had both put down on the list was for Haru to die a peaceful death. When Haru died, the last emotion Makoto saw in those beautiful, ocean eyes was happiness. With a shaking hand, Makoto crossed out that last thing. Then, he capped the pen and fell asleep, dreaming of a world without cancer, and a world where Haru still existed.

If only cancer hadn't existed, the male thought as he drifted off. Then Haru wouldn't have died. Then they would've been married and happy.

It really is amazing how one little brown dot can change your life.


	15. Alternate Ending

Don't you just love surprise alternate endings? I sure do.

* * *

"Makoto, unplug the machine," Makoto was almost startled at his sudden request, but understood. Haru whispered, "Please... make the pain go away. I-I'll see you and everyone in Heaven. And when we do meet, we can swim together for as long as we want." Haru said weakly. Nagisa suddenly let out a series of sobs, and Rei had to calm him down by stroking his blonde hair.

"No Mako-chan! Please don't let Haru-chan die! I want him to feel better and swim with us! Please don't make him die! Not yet!" Nagisa's words stung, and Makoto felt himself crying.

"It's... It's for the best, Nagisa." he said as he turned to face the swimmer, tears glistening.

"I love you, Haru." he whispered one last time as he shakily unplugged the machine. Haru smiled and closed his eyes.

_I love you too, even if I'm too weak to say it..._

A few minutes passed, and the heart monitor hadn't beeped like the four had expected it to. Also, it seemed that Haru wasn't dead either. He opened his eyes, and stared at all of them. Strangely, he didn't feel weak like he did a few minutes ago.

"Makoto, what's going on?" he asked. Makoto was just as confused as he was. He shrugged.

"I know even less than you do, Haru. Do you feel any different?"

"Yes. I feel... not as weak." Then, Rei spoke up.

"We should alert a doctor." The four nodded in agreement, and Makoto pressed the emergency red button to summon the doctors.

Only a few minutes after the doctors were summoned, the tests were done, and the doctors were absolutely awestruck. They had never seen something as big as this happen before.

"Doctor, what is it?" Makoto had asked. The doctor could only dumbly stare at him, and then shakily respond. Makoto had never seen someone so shocked in his life.

"I... I don't know how you did it Haru, but you did." he finally responded. Now they were even more confused.

"Did what?" Makoto asked.

"Well it seems that Mr. Nanase's cancer is now 100% gone. The treatments seemed to have finally caught up to him. You boys have just witnessed one of the most miraculous things the medical world has ever had to offer." To say that everyone was shocked was an understatement. Now they all were left speechless. Finally, Rei spoke up.

"So what you're saying is that Haru can go home now? And that he's healthy?" The doctor nodded.

"Yes. He is free to go."

_Free..._

All of the boys could hardly contain their excitement as they whooped and cheered. Nagisa's eyes were filled with happy tears as he and everyone hugged Haru. Haru found that he had no problem at all standing, and the boys ran out of the room. All of them were over jubilant, and acted as if they had won a race. As the team ran to the hospital door, Doctor Nowaki had just walked in and Haru had hugged him, not even caring that they were getting stares from other people. Nowaki was shocked beyond words to see Haru's sudden transformation.

"Haru-san, what happ-"

"I have no idea. But what I do know is that I believe in miracles now." Haru had said, then ran over to join the other boys. Nowaki smiled at the now healthy boy and his friends. The doctor had already seen so many miracles in his career, and even experienced a couple of his own. But to have other people experience the happiness that you've felt before, it feels magical somehow. Nowaki smiled.

_I hope you live the rest of your life happy, Haru-san_.

~_And in fact Haru's life was happier_.~

It is now five years later, and the boys are all done with school. However, they all go home so they can spend time together, and they still swim for sport. On this particular day, Makoto is the most excited/nervous that he's ever been in his life. Kou is trying to reassure him that everything will be alright as she fixes any wrinkles in the white suit he's been put into. He smiles as he looks down at his bouquet of flowers.

Today, Makoto changes his last name to Nanase.

The whole wedding event was a big blur to the two nervous/ecstatic boys. But they remember walking down that aisle, surrounding by their crying friends and family. They remember Kou and Rin walking them down the aisle, toward the place where they'd make the eternal bond happen. They remember Nagisa tripping when running up to them with them with their rings, and everyone, even Rei, laughing at the whole thing. Then they realize that they wouldn't have it any other way, and they are so glad that everyone could witness their small wedding.

A few days later, Haru finds that his old house is still vacant, and Makoto wants to live there with him. After the arrangements are made and Makoto can go get his belongings, he heads right over with Haru to his home, and they begin packing things into boxes. It is during this time that Makoto stumbles upon a folded up piece of paper. Curious as to what it is, Makoto unfolds the paper, and freezes upon reading it. A wave of memories hits him, and he isn't sure whether he wants to smile or cry. He isn't even aware that Haru is calling his name, until a hand is placed on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

"What's wrong, Makoto?" Makoto only smiles and hands him the paper.

"I wrote this a long time ago. Before you were even diagnosed." Haru feels his breath hitch and his heart race as he opens the letter.

_Dear Haru,_

_If you're reading this, it most likely means that you are alive, but probably not very healthy. I don't have the courage to give this to you now, but maybe I will eventually. I'm really nervous right now, Haru. I don't want you to die. So, in case you are diagnosed with something terminal, I'll say this:_

_I love you._

_I've loved you for so long, but it was only just now that I've discovered my true feelings. You probably don't even feel the same way, but that's okay. As long as I can be by your side, for as long as you may have, that'd make me really happy. All I want is to be able to swim with you, Nagisa, Rei, and Rin. I want us all to be happy no matter what. I know, this probably isn't making a lot of sense to you. It doesn't make much sense to me either to be honest. But all I know is that I want you to live and be happy. And I want to thank you for making me happy too. _

_Warm regards,_

_Makoto_

Haru turned to stare at Makoto, who chuckled.

"I know, it's pretty weird, huh? I almost put a sappy poem at the end too." This made Makoto laugh even more. Haru found himself shoving the letter in his pocket, and then reaching down to embrace Makoto tightly. Makoto blushed.

"I love it Makoto. I'm going to keep it forever." Makoto's face turned an even brighter shade of red.

"You're seriously going to keep that stupid thing?"

"It's not stupid to me," Haru says as he reaches down to kiss his new husband. "Now c'mon, we have to move this stuff out." He tries to get up, but Makoto pulls him down again and hugs him tightly.

"Haru, I love you."

"I love you too, Makoto. I'm so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you."

* * *

Long-ass author's note: GYAAAAAAH I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH \(^O^)/ Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited! Because of you guys, this is currently my most popular story on FanFiction! I know that it's not very big, but it's really important to me ^w^ And to think that only one year ago around this time, I was writing a Homestuck fanfic just like this, to remind people that it is Cancer Awareness Month *reminisces* Anyway, I hope to write more for Free in the future! *giant hug for everyone!*

p.s.- If you're now just remembering from a few chapters back that Makoto was going to write something, don't feel like bad/like an idiot. It was meant to happen that way ;)


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